A post-race investigation held immediately after this year’s Sandown 500 has found that the only way to avoid the embarrassing situation of anyone other than Triple 8 winning races without making it too obvious is to hook up a caravan to Scotty’s car and hope for the best.
Paulie the Parity Pelican told this reporter Scotty has left them with no choice.
“Look, if he was at Triple 8 none of this would be necessary” he squawked.
“But he’s not. So we have to take steps. We’ve tried everything else all year to stop him, and to his credit, he’s dodged our efforts admirably”.
“There’s only so many ancient penalties we can sit on and hand out arbitrarily before the fans start to see what we’re up to” added the refreshingly candid seabird.
“So from Newcastle onwards, Scotty will have a caravan hooked up to that dirty old Mustang, and we wish him luck.” he sniggered.
It’s unclear what happens if another car gets turned around by the flailing caravan, but we’re assuming Scotty gets a drive-through.