A disgruntled ibis unhappy with the way his kind has been portrayed in mainstream media over the years has used his appearance on ABC’s allegedly but clearly not neutral Q and A show to unleash on anyone who dares to suggest the entire species need to take a good look at themselves.
“Do you idiots honestly think we enjoy spending our days fossicking through your garbage?” the wily old bird posed, to rapturous applause from the carefully selected studio audience.
“Sure, we cause some problems here and there” he added.
“But it’s not your fault if the residents leave their bins out on the street” added the ever-sympathetic host Hamish MacDonald, while wiping away a socially-just tear.
“And while we do spread the contents of rubbish bins around the neighbourhood, I don’t see why that gives people the right to call us bin chickens” added the refreshingly articulate ibis.
“It must be really heart-breaking for you when the bigots label you that way” said Hamish, now gushing pure inclusivity, consequences be damned.
Before anyone else could express their views in a civil manner one of the other panellists lunged at the unprepared ibis, screeching “shut up bin chicken!” before collapsing in a cloud of feathers behind the desk.
More to come.