Waterton Teen Joins Antifa Punch-on After Mum Cancels Xbox Live Subscription

Drama has erupted in a Waterton Meadows home overnight after a naughty 14-year-old Fortnite addict well and truly crossed the imaginary line his mum had drawn. 

After having a bad run of form in his standard six hour daily marathon of Fortnite, including getting trolled by some creepily good 8-year-old, things really came to a head when Finlay Butler-Tomlinson told his mum to “fark off fascist” when she reminded him he needed to take the bins out. 

Having had about enough of his crap, Finlay’s mum immediately pulled the plug on the pretend mercenary’s plans for the evening, taking her credit card details off his Xbox Live subscription. 

Little Finlay didn’t take this well. 

“That’s it! I’m done with this neo-fascist regime!” he screamed, while throwing a bike-lock, one of those creepy skeleton mouth facemasks from Wish.com, his contact lens cleaning solution, and a Nerf baseball bat he got for his 12th birthday into his school bag before storming out the front door. 

Based on his Snapchat updates, it appears he has hooked up with the Waterton Meadows chapter of Antifa and is currently roaming the streets with five other “oppressed” white middle-class teenage boys from his school, looking for random “boomers” to bash and blame for everything. 

According to witnesses, the group was last spotted trying to convince the manager of the local Timezone gaming arcade to give them some free credits. 

More to come.