Kiwi On Boozy Girls Weekend Blames “Jet Lag” For Early Night

A Palmerston North woman on her first trip outside the North Island is tonight safely tucked up in her Melbourne hotel bed at the outrageously sensible hour of 7pm AEDT after the day just got all a bit much for her. 

Tiffany Drinkwater (21) and her two besties Stacy and Veronica were all checked into their hotel by 5pm after what Tiff described as “the longest flight of my life. I thought Palmy to Aucks was a long way lol.”. 

“But the weather is heaps better than Palmy eh” she described of the adorable near-blizzard conditions typical of Melbourne in November in this post-climate emergency age.

Like most born and bred Palmy girls, Tiffany and her crew were keen to “hit the town” and “get on the piss bro” and no one was going to stop them apparently, according to Tiff’s Instagram.  

A few rounds of VB later, and with the girls keeping constant tabs on the $AUD-$NZD exchange rate, a plan was hatched to stock up on Billabong hoodies at the DFO tomorrow, when Tiff suddenly nodded off while waiting in the queue to buy another pack of smokes. 

Unfortunately, the shift of one whole time zone coupled with the barrage of Australian and Chinese accents, and being weirded out by trams and 7/11s, appears to have taken it’s toll on poor old TIff. 

Like any self-respecting Palmy girl, Tiff is normally good for at least a box and a half of Lion Red, but tonight she has been slayed by a sole jug of Melbourne’s finest, VB. 

“Bro, Tiff coma’d out already lollol, We didn’t even get to bash any skinny hos yet lol” #melbournelife #weakass” Stacy posted to her Instagram after her and Veronica dragged the comatose TIffany back up to the hotel.