New Zealanders are inexplicably not impressed with Jacinda spending the last two years gallivanting around the world telling everyone how great she is while her squad of Inepitcons allegedly “run” the country.
Although she refuses to talk about it, preferring to focus on more important things like appearing for 3.4 seconds on the Late Show, and the barely legal-sized snapper that First Dad Clarke caught yesterday, people are losing patience.
Speaking from a Beijing palace, where she is attending a “Propaganda & Censorship” seminar with good mate and self-appointed communist dictator Xi Jinping, Ardern said there was nothing to worry about.
“Look, I reject whatever the people think or say” she said, alarmingly for all of us.
“Frankly, if the All Blacks had done their one job those idiots back in New Zealand wouldn’t even be thinking about all the promises we haven’t managed to get around to doing”.
“It’s all good though, I’m sure our Women’s T20 team will do their bloody jobs and take everyone’s minds off silly things like houses, infrastructure, and hospitals”.
“If not, we’ll probably just make up some stuff about the opposition” she added, gaining an enthusiastic nod of approval from President Xi next to her.