Waterton Man Who Didn’t Invent Facebook Reckons It’s “Dead”

A Waterton man who signed up to Instagram last week after a tipoff from the new guy at work reckons Facebook is “dead”. 

Chad Pelican (22) wasn’t interested in a coworker’s counter-argument that Facebook had just reported it’s biggest annual profit in history, a paltry $17 billion. He also dismissed the fact that active user numbers are up, labelling it “fake news bro”. 

“I knew from day one it was never going to work” he said. 

Which seems to be a little bit at odds with the whole $550 billion market capitalisation thing, and the fact Zuck has personally made somewhere north of $70 billion out of the “dinky little website” over the years. 

Chad went on to argue that he came up with the same idea two months before Zuck, but added that his version “was heaps better bro”. He didn’t explain why it was better. 

“Whoever owns Instagram is gonna smash Facebook out of the park bro”.