Melbourne Man With No Actual Knowledge Of Rugby Union Mocks Kiwi Colleagues

A passionate Carlton fan with a history of telling his Kiwi office mates “no one cares about your stupid rugby game” has today bounded into the office having a go at anyone remotely connected to New Zealand about how useless the All Blacks are. 

Having spent the past three years completely dismissing any attempts by his Kiwi colleagues to talk about how good the All Blacks are, or how the Wallabies couldn’t win against an Under 9s side, life insurance Sales Executive Callum Twopenny (31) read something about the All Blacks losing in the World Cup semifinal on the train into work this morning and knew he just had to have a crack. 

“How bad are the All Blacks!” he announced as he turned up to the pod for another day of pissing people off. 

Not convinced that his sudden interest in Rugby Union was genuine, the still despondent Kiwis in the team tried to ignore him. 

“You guys really do suck!” he continued, blissfully unaware of how useless his own team are. 

Having had enough of Callum’s shit for one morning, ten-year veteran of being a Kiwi living in Melbourne Chris McLaughlin (35) lost it, in a polite kind of Kiwi way. 

“Callum, you’re obviously unaware of how bad the Wallabies are, and let’s not even start on Carlton”. 

To which old mate replied “Yeah, well.. No one cares about Rugby Union here buddy. And Carlton won 16 flags mate!”, carefully failing to mention the last one was in 1995.