Special Report: Why Doesn’t China Just Make Its Own Baby Formula?

A Waterton massage “expert” with limited English and a questionable right to work here has today lost her shit after failing to convince any of her clients to go for the “Daily Special”. 

“What am I supposed to do now?!” she asked no one in particular.

Not content with finding a proper job, the James Cook University international student headed to the local supermarket with a plan to pillage all available baby formula and chuck it straight on Weibo, because for some unknown reason China can’t just make their own baby formula. 

Unfortunately her efforts came to nothing as she, like many actual parents, found the shelves had already been cleaned out by equally opportunistic fuckwits who got there before her. 

Some old battler outside the supermarket who witnessed the whole thing told this reporter he couldn’t understand why they were so mental over formula. 

“I mean, they can apparently land a spaceship on the dark side of the moon. But they can’t dry up some milk and put it in a can? It doesn’t make a huge amount of sense really does it?” he quipped.