Universally Disliked Sales Manager Arbitrarily Gives Team Stupid Nicknames

A local life insurance sales team is having a bit of a giggle amongst themselves at the expense of their manager tonight after he randomly decided after lunch to replace their actual names on the sales results whiteboard with intensely cringeworthy ones he made up. 

The drama unfolded when the crack team of telemarketers returned from their lunch break to find their historically painful manager Jamie putting the finishing touches on a bunch of random pictures he’d stolen from Google Image Search to use as “avatars” for the poor bastards that have to deal with him. 

Apparently Jamie got the idea from some three-day “Leadership and Excellence” course down at the Waterton Oceanview Resort he just got back from. 

Team 2IC Tyler Brown-Knowse (19), a six month veteran of the insurance industry told the group via Whatsapp that Jamie had explained to him during their lunch-time “strategy meeting” at the pub that the reason they couldn’t just have their normal names anymore was because names like “Hawkeye”, “Sledgehammer”, “Sharpshooter” and “The Assassin” would automatically fix their general inability to sell anything without the need to take them off the phones and actually train them. 

“He’s really pumped guys. He’s expecting a record day from you all tomorrow” said Tyler.