Office Lightweight Goes Around Telling Everyone He’s “The Champ” After A Few Too Many

Things have gone a bit feral at a local Waterton pub after a group of life insurance salespeople extended their Friday drinks session a little too far for one lightweight. 

New recruit Chad Threepenny (19) had a good week, roping 48 unsuspecting elderly people into pretty much useless life and funeral insurance policies, and won the team’s “Star Of The Week” Award at the weekly sales meeting. 

After celebrating by drinking two VB’s, Chad and his team headed to local watering hole The Thirsty Whale to continue their attempts to forget they all have to go back and do it all again on Monday. Chad demolished another two beers and for some reason immediately starting going around telling random strangers that he is “the God of insurance sales” and insisting that everyone in the pub address him as “The Champ”. 

Just as he was about to start dancing on the bar after the Coyote Ugly song came on, he thankfully collapsed in a heap in the corner and went to sleep. 

“He’s had a big week, let’s see if he can do even better next week” said his sales manager Jamie Michelson at the scene.