Jennifer Aniston Adamant She Doesn’t Share Coke With Friends

As if they didn’t already have enough drama to deal with, our American friends now have to spend the next 2-3 days yelling at each other on social media and The View and E! Celebrity News over whether the cast of Friends might have maybe done a bit of coke from time to time after their meteoric rise from peasants to millionaires in the space of a week 25 years ago.

The scandal has its origins in Jennifer taking her iPhone into a local repair shop after “allegedly”  not being able to work out why the screen had random three-dimensional white lines all over it. 

However, upon further investigation, Head of Celebrity Phone Repair Jimmy Chen noted no fault found.

“We did however notice a bit of a build up of white powder around the speakers, which would have affected performance so we cleared that up” he added, while putting a $100 note back in his wallet.  

Jimmy then headed for the sofa in the corner and started going on about the Deep State and how some Friends episodes were “pretty funny, man”.