Reports are coming in that North Korean dictator and all-round good guy Kim-Jong Un has not coped well with the demise of Artax while enjoying a private screening of relentlessly depressing 80s classic The Neverending Story with BFF Dennis Roman.
As with most 9 year olds, his sweet, sheltered little mind has been simply incapable of dealing with the swamp scene, and he appears to have lost the plot even more than usual.
The Waterton Chronicle understands Kim spent the last three hours holed up in his room, huddled in a corner screaming something about “bring Artax back! Bring him back now! He was the only good thing in the world!”
Luckily for anyone within range of his slightly dodgily put together nuclear missiles, his people managed to track down an Artax lookalike, and Kim has been gleefully riding him around his mountain compound with the theme music from the movie playing in an endless loop over the nationwide broadcast system.
“Weeeeee!” he said as he cantered past.