VTEC Fan Reckons He Could “Smash Scotty” At Bathurst

A self-proclaimed “racer” has just claimed that his 1993 Integra VTi-R ‘would easily smash out a sub-2 minute lap” at Bathurst, for some reason. 

Patrick Smallknob (28), an avid VTEC evangelist who lives with his mum, said Scotty McLaughlin’s latest effort at Bathurst was “not that impressive really”. 

“My Teg puts out more than 56hp at the wheels, 62 when the VTEC kicks in yo” he added. 

When one of his mates told him he was “being a bit optimistic” Patrick went bright red, paused for at least five seconds, before hissing something about “you don’t know anything about VTEC yo!” 

More to come.