With the news that Prime Minister Ardern has missed out on winning the Nobel Peace Prize, despite wearing a different hijab every day for two solid weeks in the wake of the events of March 15, The Waterton Chronicle understands that Jacinda has just been spotted biffing her collection of designer hijabs in a neighbour’s wheelie bin.
According to the neighbour who witnessed the event, our Supreme Leader snuck out of her house at around 6am this morning in a red dressing gown with “some kind of hammer and sickle symbol on it” and attempted to subtly drop “around 20-30 different coloured headscarves” into the neighbour’s bin.
“She tried to be real sneaky about it eh. Like, she only opened the lid a little bit. And she was muttering something about ‘what was the point of me wearing this shit’”.
Apparently she was later heard having a crack at First Dad Clarke about how she’s “way more famous than the Ethiopian Prime Minister”.
“Has he even been on the Late Show?!!” she apparently hissed.
More to come.