Cheika Predicting “Perfect Playing Conditions” For Typhoon-ravaged Ireland Samoa Game

In yet another sign that Cheika might not be paying much attention to what’s going on around him, the embattled Wallabies coach has today suggested that Ireland and Samoa will enjoy “pristine playing conditions” tonight, despite the fact Typhoon Unpronounceable is about to wreak absolute havoc on the joint. 

“Oh yeah mate” he said to this reporter as we dropped a few lagers while hunkered down in the Hotel bar.

“I mean we had to contend with rain and humidity and stuff  in some of our games too. I don’t know what they’re on about really”. 

“The whole reason we lost to Wales was because we choose not to train in bad weather back home. Hoops (Michael Hooper) says the wet weather makes his haircut look bad”. 

“What even is a typhoon? Is that like a tornado?” he muttered to himself. 

More to come.