Perth Nightclub Hires Bill Cosby As Safety Consultant

In a “stroke” of genius, a Perth nightclub with a history of being a bit of shithole has hired well-known celebrity and hookup expert Bill Cosby to provide professional advice to punters on the easiest ways to secure a bit of action. 

Cosby, along with apparently the entire world, saw the carnage on the clubs Facebook page and thought he might be able to lend a finger or two to help out. 

“Hee hee, well I saw they had a bit of, what would you call it, blowback, over the whole, hee hee, drink spiking thing hee hee” he told this reporter from his prison cell. 

“So I figured I could, you know, ‘help out’ hee hee. Everyone knows I’m a bit of an expert hee hee”. 

Cosby went on to explain that the club owners had accepted his invitation to help out. Apparently his role will involve teaching the owners who is and isn’t worthy of having their drink spiked, and how to conduct themselves during the day so that no one suspects they’re actually predatory monsters at night time.