Metro Trains Discover How To Time Travel

After standing on the platform in the pissing rain watching the time to the next train tick up and down between 5 and 4 minutes for the last half an hour, local Waterton office worker Trent has come up with quite the conspiracy theory. 

Having watched the train that was earlier apparently trapped in some kind of space-time continuum fly past the platform with zero intention of picking up anything other than an elusive “oh you’re on time” record, Trent decided that the trains might possibly be not stopping at stations because it’s fucking way easier to hit your punctuality targets if you don’t have to stop and let those pesky passengers on. 

When this reporter asked Metro Trains Head Of Train Stuff, Bryan Mind-Thegap what the logic was, he said “Well, we hit our targets. Sure, some people didn’t get to be passengers, but if they had managed to get on, they would have been at their destination on time. And that’s the most important bit.”