Waterton Mum Gives Up Trying To Keep House Clean

A week into school holidays, a Waterton mum has collapsed under the pressure and decided not to bother trying to clean up the house. 

Less than 12 hours after pulling an all-nighter to get the house to some kind of liveable standard, including scraping half-eaten Rollups and bits of Nutrigrain off the floor, Tiffany Tidepod (33) awoke to find that clearly there was absolutely no point cleaning the house, because apparently her spawn (Sebastian (8) and Crispin (10)), think the massive pile of juice box straw wrappers and inexplicably gross stains on the kitchen floor are preferable to just putting shit in the rubbish bin. 

“Nah. I’m not doing this anymore” she muttered to herself as the cherubs slept upstairs. 

“How hard it is to just not put things down the back of the couch?” she continued, to herself. 

“Fuck it. No more cleaning. I am going to live my life.” she muttered, as she dug through the filth, found the remote, put the batteries back in, and started looking for a movie about how her life used to be.