Waterton Couple Part Ways After Botched IKEA Furniture Assembly Mission

Sad scenes in a Waterton apartment this evening after a Waterton man’s all day IKEA assembly mission went severely tits up. 

The drama began when Andy Everyman (24) was about half way through, and 4 hours into, assembling what looked in the IKEA store to be a fairly straight forward dresser for his girlfriend Amber. The dresser, named DRESHER by IKEA, but which Andy has since renamed FÜCKIT, apparently should take only 1-2 hours to assemble. 

Thinking he had built a rhythm after ten minutes of doing the same thing over and over again, Andy got a bit casual with the instructions, a move that would prove costly later on when Amber pointed out that pretty much everything was put on backwards. 

Initially, for the first three seconds after Amber’s comment anyway, Andy was pretty calm. But upon realising he’d just wasted four hours of his life on this shitty piece of crap, he lost the plot. 

“FUCK IT! I can’t deal with this shit!” he said as he angrily hacked out the hex bolts, throwing them satisfyingly over his head as he went. 

Apparently Andy has gone in search of that elusive 24 hour furniture shop that also delivers ready-made dressers on a Saturday night, in a desperate bid to placate Amber. 

More to come.