Australia Definitely World Cup Favourites After Win Over “Powerhouses” Fiji, Says Cheika

Wallabies coach and perennial whinger Michael Cheika has assured anyone that will listen that his team of second-rate Super Rugby misfits should be considered tournament favourites, after “demolishing”  what he for some reason describes as “absolute powerhouses” Fiji in their first outing today. 

Speaking from a local sake bar, where Cheika and Raelene Castle headed at half-time to drown their sorrows when they thought they might lose the game, Cheika said the squad are “super-confident” about their chances for the rest of the tournament. 

“Yeah, look, we’ve decided that we did absolutely nothing wrong during that game. The simple fact is Fiji is a massive force in World Rugby, and that means it doesn’t really matter that we only started beating them when Hoops (Michael Hooper) got one of them sent off with his tried and tested, game-winning penalty-milking strategy”.

“We’re really just concentrating on the next few games. The boys are expecting the game against Georgia to be the real test” he added. 

“You never know what to expect from them, but a lot of them are goat farmers by profession, so their fitness and tackling skills should be right up there” he speculated.

“We’ll probably need at least two of their players to be sent off if we’re gonna win that one”.