Supreme Leader Ardern Deals With Growing List Of Issues By Going On Holiday Again

Not content with actually sorting out the growing list of issues plaguing the country, and indeed her own government, Jacinda has today cantered onto the nearest plane and is currently heading for the relative sanctity of Japan, where she and First Dad Clarke and First Baby Neve will take in a spot of All Blacks v South Africa before heading to a well-guarded formal dinner with lots of other not-poor people. 

Apparently not quite rested enough after spending the last month gallivanting around the pacific islands telling them all they’re all going to die if Australia doesn’t turn off it’s economy, Jacinda has chosen the slightly less conventional approach for a sitting Prime Minister of trying her hardest to get as far away as possible from the country she’s in charge of.


When this reporter asked our Supreme Leader about the issues she was leaving behind, as she was being walked onto an RNZAF 757 atop some kind of stretcher contraption held up by a bunch of fit looking greased up guys who were feeding her a constant supply of grapes and prosciutto, she alarmingly replied with “The masses have their problems, the rest of us have our own problems”.

“More grapes!” she was heard to exclaim as she was loaded onto the plane. 

More to come.