Tourist Caught Smuggling Entire Contents Of Ocean At Waterton Airport

An international tourist is today a few dolphins short of a pod after her attempt to smuggle literally the entire ocean into Waterton in her luggage didn’t go to plan. 

The woman, who we can’t name for legal reasons, from a country we can’t name for trade and anti-criticism reasons, first attracted the attention of border security good doggo Fred, and let’s face it absolutely everyone within a 50m radius in the baggage claim area of Waterton International Airport, after one of her suitcases appeared to be leaking a putrid combination of seawater and fish juices all over the baggage carousel. 

With the smell emitted by this supposedly delectable brew not finding favour with everyone in the vicinity, the woman was quickly whisked away by border security officers for a compulsory baggage search. 

Witnesses at the scene report that as the woman was being escorted to the baggage search tables she was heard arguing very articulately with the officer that she is very important and can not be searched. 

Upon opening the suitcase, officers were frankly not surprised to discover that despite answering ‘no’ to every single question on the arrival card, the woman had apparently attempted to bring enough seafood with her to keep the local fish and chip shop going for at least the next year or two. 

What probably was a bit of a surprise to one border security officer though was the moment a particularly fresh mullet on top of the pile suddenly made a dash for freedom, giving the officer a whack on the cheek as it flew past before flapping around on the floor for a bit.  

When asked why she had brought so much food with her, the woman suddenly forgot how to speak English, instead offering only a cheeky grin and a “hee hee, fish”.