New Zealanders And Australians Way Smarter Than Americans, WUT Study Confirms

In probably unsurprising news to most, Waterton University of Technology has today confirmed that New Zealanders and Australians are all much smarter than all Americans. 

The in-depth study, commissioned by local thinktank Waterton Thinkers and Academics Foundation (WTAF), took more than three days to complete and consists of data gathered by part-time sociology student Druciilla Spongeworthy. 

“Basically what I did was I had a look at a few Facebook groups where people are meant to discuss  and argue with each other different issues like gun rights, climate change, abortion, Trump, how they managed to lose a war against rice farmers, and so on.” Miss Spongeworthy explained. 

“What we found is that whenever the conversation turns to more controversial topics like gun control and when they might crack 500 mass shootings for the year, or why they can’t get their heads around the metric system but imperial is no dramas, the tone of the debate immediately nosedives into incoherent ranting about the Second Amendment, and nonsensical comments like “Australia doesn’t exist”, or “Shut up Hobbit.” she said. 

She went on to explain that in complete contrast, her data indicated that Australians and New Zealanders are totally civil and far more sophisticated in their approach to arguing with strangers online, with “absolutely no evidence of stupidity at all”.


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