Block NZ Contestants Become Lifestyle Bloggers In Bid To Stay Relevant

With their combined interior design, painting and decorating, mystery shopping, Instagram influencing, and breakfast radio careers in absolute tatters today, Block NZ orphans Sophia and Mikaere have been forced to look for other ways to earn money while simultaneously making sure the entire country knows how progressive and sophisticated they are. 

After their attempt to set a Guinness World Record in the category of “The Most Useless Junk Masquerading As Tasteful Art In A Room” turned out to be an epic failure, with the apartment they had spent months filling up passing in a casual $400,000 below the reserve at last night’s auction, the Turangi hydroponics experts are today contemplating what could have been, and probably asking for the last six months of their lives back. 

Facing the prospect of following in the footsteps of every single other New Zealand reality TV “star”, that being disappearing into complete obscurity, the pair spoke to this reporter this morning in what turned out to be a desperate attempt to get a free plug for their new lifestyle blog. 

“We honestly thought all the art pieces (sic) we snuck into the apartment when no one was looking would have added at least $3 million to the price of the place.” Sophia said indignantly. 

Mikaere explained that he too was confused by the result. 

“My art is really groundbreaking and influential. The lady that owns the Turangi Tearooms cafe loves it”

Sophia then went on to describe her new lifestyle blog that she set up this morning. “It’s just a really good place for people to find information on how good I am at telling people how good I am” she explained.

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