Waterton Man Has New Magpie Frenemy

A Waterton stay-at-home dad and budding entrepreneur has today made friends with the local magpie dickhead. 

As if the daily school pick-up wasn’t already exciting enough, old mate maggie may has decided to add into the mix the threat of blindness or getting flattened by a truck whilst running away from what this writer has chosen to name Captain Swoopy. 

The angry little bastard seems particularly keen to start a fight at this point, as the guy has run away from this bird of prey and miniature pterodactyl three days in a row and yet it still seems like it’s keen for a death battle. 

Despite clearly having no interest whatsoever in putting an end to Captain Swoopy’s time as a parent or defender of the nest, the kamikaze bird shows absolutely no signs of chilling out any time soon. 

Not content with being chased around the neighbourhood by a fucking bird, Waterton resident Bryan Fantana told this reporter that he intends to “hit the little bugger out of the park” as he walked out the door brandishing an admittedly solid looking baseball bat. 

More to come. 

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