Waterton Cat Says It’s Never Been Fed Ever

A local cat is today acting like he’s on the verge of starving to death in a cunning attempt to have a crack at the leftover roast beef in the fridge. 

Mr Wordsworth, who has a history of getting what he wants, has single-handedly managed to make his food providers think the other is a sadistic animal neglecting monster by simultaneously and covertly claiming to both of them that the other hasn’t fed him at all ever. 

The drama unfolded first thing this morning as loyal food providers Jazmin and Andy were getting ready for work. Unhappy with the frankly offensively small amount of delicious beef that was offered to him at dinner last night, and further incensed by Andy’s suggestion that he finish off the small pile of cat biscuits in his bowl, Mr Wordsworth decided he was left with little choice but to execute Operation: Beef Deception. 

With both Andy and Jazmin briefly distracted by just how terrible breakfast TV is these days, Mr Wordsworth quickly tore through the remaining cat biscuits in his bowl without detection. 

With Phase 1 complete, the well nourished feline moved to Phase 2, now salivating at the thought of the delicious prize about to come his way. In an act of pure genius he approached Jazmin as she was finishing off her coffee, with Andy nowhere to be seen. 

“Meowww” he said as he brushed against Jazmin’s legs. 

Frustrated by her lack of response, and running out of time as Andy came back downstairs to foil his plan, he let out a rather more forceful “MEEOOOWWW!!” and whacked his bowl across the kitchen floor. 

Seeing the glare that Mr Wordsworth directed squarely at Andy as he came back into the kitchen, Jazmin thought the worst. 

“Oh my god, you poor baby!” she said to the sneaky cat. “Daddy forgot to feed you didn’t he! You must be starving, you poor thing”. 

Noticing that his bowl was now empty, Andy tried to convince Jazmin that the cat was playing her. Jazmin was having none of it though. “How could you forget to feed him?! Look at him, he’s starving!”. 

With that Jazmin headed for the fridge. “Here you go precious. This should make you feel better” she cooed as she gave Mr Wordsworth the rest of last night’s beef.

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