A neighbourly dispute far more interesting than the standard “the old man next door has a messy front yard” cases we normally hear about is in progress in a leafy Perth suburb today as we go to press.
The scary scenes began some months ago when local creepy woman and suspected witch and vegan moved into the rundown old miner’s cottage next door to the unsuspecting family of four.
Mrs Randall explained to the Waterton Chronicle that Ms Hagraven kept to herself for the first week or so, apparently only being spotted outside the home once.
“At first it was fine, just that one time when I saw her chasing some stray cat around the neighbourhood late at night. Which I thought was a bit odd, but you know I kind of just put it down to meth”.
A few days later things escalated slightly when the Randall kids were playing a bit of basketball in the backyard. Ms Hagraven’s ultra-keen sense of smell got the better of her and she couldn’t help but scale the fence and attempt to capture the unsuspecting younglings. As the kids stood completely frozen as the witch stared at them, Mrs Randall became concerned that it was a little too quiet outside and luckily intervened just in time.
It was the following weekend that things really came to a head. The Randalls were hosting a couple of friends for a low key barbecue and a couple of drinks when one of the kids told Mrs Randall that Ms Hagraven was attempting to scale the fence again.
Apparently this time she was unable to cope with the sweet aroma of freshly caught snapper cooking on the barbecue, having been banished from her primal urge to consume flesh after an incident some years ago that the Guild of Hagravens frowned upon.
In a surprising twist, Ms Hagraven then chose the more civil, but more ridiculous option of trying to get her way through the Supreme Court.
It’s understood the Randall family is currently barricaded in their home, too scared even to venture into their backyard after the Supreme Court ruled in their favour.
This reporter was recognised by Ms Hagraven and once again ran away.