Where’s Winnie?

With our Supreme Leader currently discovering just how tolerant and progressive the Dubai justice system is, questions have been raised regarding what the fuck Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters has been doing for the last year or so. 

Aside from having a bit of a whinge from his hospital bed last week about Paula Bennett sending him a bunch of daisies she picked while fossicking around out the back of the Beehive, and declaring his allegiance to Australia earlier in the year, we haven’t heard much from the wily old battler since he opted for the red pill and put Supreme Leader in charge. 

Despite being both Deputy Prime Minister and Foreign Minister and therefore the best hope Jacinda has outside of her United Nations overlords, old Winnie seems quite content to let our Supreme Leader and the First Family chill in a Dubai jail for just a little bit longer than is probably necessary. 

Winston is yet to say a single word publicly about Jacinda’s situation, but is reportedly pretty keen to use the Supreme Leader’s unscheduled absence to hit the TAB, take his launch “Balance Of Power” out for a spot of fishing, and avoid those lunatics in the Green Party at all costs.

This reporter bumped into Winnie at the Whakatane TAB this morning and asked him about our Supreme Leader’s situation. 

“Oh yeah, I should probably get onto that” he muttered, before returning his gaze to race 2 at Addington.