Now that the forest fires engulfing half of Brazil have been completely sorted out by Jacinda Ardern sending a concerned look to the Brazilian government we can all rest a little easier that everything is back to normal.
Fresh from a stint in a Dubai jail after apparently overestimating how tolerant and inclusive the Arab state would be towards an unmarried couple having a child, Jacinda Ardern has waded straight back into her quest to land a cushy job at the UN, taking the interesting step of sending a selfie to United States President Donald Trump.
Upon reading the news reports that Trump planned to violate international law in the pursuit of fair weather, Ardern fucking lost it.
“You know what I’m going to do, Clarko” she said while demolishing some kind of chicken dish and a few vodka tonics in their room in the Dubai Hilton.
“I’m going to sort this one out in the same way I sorted out those silly fires and global warming”.
With that our Supreme Leader smashed out at least five in focus selfies and promptly sent the most concerned face one to the Donald.
In yet another setback for our Supreme Leader, the Donald has just tweeted “Does anyone know who Jacinda Ardern is and why she’s sending me selfies? #nukethestorms #whoisjacindaanyway”
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