Supreme Leader Ardern Sends Thoughts And Prayers And Concerned Faces To Combat Brazil Fires

With the Amazonian bushfires still completely out of control, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern has once again decided to run with the somewhat unconventional firefighting strategy of sending thoughts and prayers and looks of concern rather than sending actual firefighters and helicopters with buckets.. 

When asked by this reporter why she felt that thoughts and prayers and concerned looks in photos were more effective than the usual planeloads of firefighters that have been sent overseas in the past (for example, to Australia every year), Ardern said “Well yeah but our working group determined that sending all those firefighters and equipment would produce more carbon than our Green Party overlords could tolerate”. 

“So they decided the best option was to combat this massive firestorm with thoughts and prayers and a few pinches of feigned concern when the cameras are around” she revealed in a startling insight into the state of our nation. 

In a spot of pure luck this reporter bumped into Foreign Affairs Minister and Deputy Prime Minister Winston Peters at the Mount Maunganui TAB this morning. As he sat transfixed by Race 4 at Awapuni, he did manage to pull out of nowhere his legendary “NO” sign when asked if he had any thoughts on the Brazil situation.