Journalist Reprimanded By Employer For Actually Investigating The Issues

Tensions are apparently pretty high at the offices of a rival network today as news just breaking reveals one of their journalists has resorted to going out in public and trying his hand at investigating a story in the hope of coming up with some actual facts. 

Lifestyle and Political Editor Jolyon Loews-Hairpin made what has been described by industry insiders as a “reckless and costly decision”, booking a face to face meeting with a local “Influencer” who is currently the subject of an Instagram shitstorm over a photo in which she purported to be camping but was actually just standing on her parents’ back lawn. 

In a complete rejection of the modern journalistic practice of spending all day trawling social media and repeating word for word the post and comments together with images of said posts and comments, Loews-Hairpin made the critical error of actually speaking to the subject of the story, rather than just stalking her on Insta and stuff. 

Loews-Hairpin tweeted just before the interview “Just about to speak with that chick that pretended to be camping. Stay tuned #campingnotcamping”. 

The subject of his story, 18 year old stay at home teenager Jazmin Jeffries (@jazzyjeffs) replied “lol i cant wait. Makeup crew has just finished #actualcamping #seriously”.

Ms Jeffries has 1323 followers on Instagram, compared to just 33 for Mr Loews-Hairpin.

Mr Loews-Hairpin’s employer tweeted earlier today “It has come to our attention that one of our journalists is resorting to unacceptable tactics. He has been coached and has assured us that he will immediately revert back to acceptable company practice, that being sticking purely to hearsay and speculation sourced from social media in his journalistic endeavours”.  

As we go to press Ms Jeffries has 1334 followers and her latest post has been shared 27 times.