Our Australian Office has just filed this Special Report:
With petrol prices approaching $2.50NZD and GST firm at 15% Supreme Leader has had to think outside the box to cover paying off any future gatherings of half a dozen people on private property having a whinge.
In her latest wealth distribution policy, Supreme Leader popped in after first baby’s 9am aquarobics to announce the NZ government will begin invoicing foreign governments for their countries getting credit for the work of adopted NZ citizens.
“It’s bad enough we ended up equal winners in the Cricket” she mused, “but the fact someone born in NZ made all their bloody runs really grinds my gears. And don’t even get me started on some of these Hollywood operators”.
Asked how she would enforce the terms of these invoices she referenced Australia’s recent dual citizenship parliamentary crisis, “Well we got a couple of Aussie politicians thrown out of parliament accidentally last year, so I reckon if we actually try we should be able to put some pressure on. Maybe we’ll tell them they can win the rugby or something – they’re always desperate for anything sport related over there”.
The Chronicle approached Australian PM Kevin Rudd, or Malcolm Turnbull, or whichever white-haired, glass-wearing, suited-up bloke is Prime Minister this week, who commented, “They’ve got to be joking, we’ve been stuck getting the blame for Russell Crowe for like 30 years – we should be charging them!”