Low Key Friday Drinks Escalates Into Full Blown Land Occupation

What started as just another standard Friday night smashing Double Browns with the boys has taken a dramatic turn in the allegedly picturesque Auckland suburb of Ihumatao. In what is surely the most epic display this week so far of why you shouldn’t make important decisions towards the business end of a swappa crate challenge, the group of family members decided they’d had enough of the concept of private property. 

Not happy with the prospect of future afternoon pissups being negatively affected by noisy construction of a housing estate over the back fence, the non-comatose members of the group reached unanimous agreement at around 4am that the perfect course of action was to go and sit in the paddock until they got what they wanted.

After grabbing another couple of swappa crates and some smokes, and coming up with the catchy gang name “Soul”, the Souljahs went and sat down in the paddock behind their house and got to work recruiting a rent-a-crowd via social media. By the time the sun came up the next day, and just as the Prime Minister was agreeing with breakfast radio host Mack Husking that they were completely out of line, a dishevelled group of around 300 politics students, apparently tripping hard from another all-nighter smashing hallucinogenics, turned up, led predictably enough by a couple of professional protesters turned Green Party Government Ministers. 

The Waterton Chronicle spoke to Soul co-founder and Ihumatao leader Quinine Tonick-Water, who said she was confused as to why the government had sent cops to sort out a group who were illegally occupying someone else’s property. 

“They could just give us the money instead and we’d all go home” she said in what sounded a little bit like extortion.