The privileged existence of a formerly suspiciously too perfect upper middle class Waterton family has been torn to shreds overnight after an unscheduled power outage sent the four of them straight back to the Stone Age.
The Taylor-Tomlinson family, of Waterton Meadows were enjoying their usual after school routine of bingeing on mindless “epic fails” and “become a business coach” videos while simultaneously streaming Fuller House episodes when a shocking turn of events forced them into actually speaking to each other face to face, whilst also fearing the impending sunset. At just after 5.45pm yesterday a fault in a local transformer caused an unscheduled power outage to the greater Waterton area.
Family matriarch Tiffany Taylor-Tomlinson said it was the most stressful 40 minutes of her life. “My eldest Arthur(8) was a picture of calmness, only complaining about his iPhone hitting less than 70% charge once the whole ordeal” she said. “However, little Damian and Crispin (both 6) behaved in a most disagreeable fashion”. This reporter understands Damian and Crispin were utterly perplexed as to why their afternoon of Roblox and Minecraft was curtailed. Damian seemed particularly confused. “I don’t see why a fucking power cut should stop me from doing what I want after I’ve had to spend all day on my iPad doing silly Mathletics games” he snarled in an altogether frightening tone.
Husband to Mrs Taylor-Tomlinson and prominent Waterton barrister Tom Taylor-Tomlinson QC said via his secretary that the traumatic events of last night would never be forgotten. “How is it that in this, the 21st century of our Lord, my children have to survive with no WiFi?! What do they expect us to do, speak to those ghastly creatures?” he incoherently blustered. He went on to describe how traumatised Mrs Taylor-Tomlinson was after having to explain at least twelve times why WiFi doesn’t work without electricity despite the childrens cries of “but the fucking toilet does!”